Today’s blog I found challenging to write. Information about queer women is hard to find first because same sex-marriages have only recently been legal in Canada as of July 2005 (Makarenko, 2007). Also because most people who are lesbian, bisexual, gay stay in the “closet” meaning they don’t like to share information. I was able to come across one article that really caught my eye, but I’m also going to talk about a personal experience I’ve had.
About three years ago one of my friends told me that she was a lesbian. She kept it a secret for a long time mostly because she wasn’t sure what people would think of her and because she didn’t want to be made fun of. After she told me she was a lesbian, she asked me if I looked at her differently. In my honest opinion I didn’t look at her in any different way. To me she is an awesome person; there is nothing I have against her. Truly though (this is not to offend anyone) if I didn’t get to know her before she told me she was a lesbian I probably wouldn’t have considered her the same way. She has taught me a lesson in itself and that is explore before you judge meaning get to know people before you make a judgment. Studies suggest, “each year between 50,000 and 100,000 lesbian women are battered”(2005). Today I’m still good friends with this girl, I see her as the same person she was even before she told me she was a lesbian, she’s the same person just has a different gender preference. This would be nice to see our entire society do and that is except people as who they want to be. Like my friend said “as you get older it get’s better” and society still has that discrimination about the queer, I think more people are starting to recognize that and are starting to except other. Now I don’t look at anyone different, if we decide to be lesbian, bisexual, gay, or straight that’s what we choose and I think it’s also something we were born with. We are all human beings!
In the article Canadian border guards tells….. it talked about two Canadian women who are married that were stopped by Canadian Customs because they weren’t allowed to go over to the US without filling out two separate US custom forms. “US law prohibits same-sex couples from filling out a form as a family” (Richard J Dalton Jr, 2011). These women who are just living normal life can’t live “normal” life as a family because other countries don’t see same sex-marriages as “normal”. I felt sick in my stomach when I read this I didn’t think that the US made such a big stink over who’s considered in and who’s considered out of a family. In Canada “you may list up to four people living at the same address on one card” (Richard J Dalton Jr, 2011). This includes everyone doesn’t matter if you live with four men, four women, or husband/wife, and this is how it should be everyone should be treated equal. When same-sex marriages became legal in Canada the civil marriage act changed the definition of marriage saying "marriage for civil purposes, is the lawful union of two persons to exclusion of all others" (Makarenko, 2007) anyone can be married to any sex male or female and they are considered a family. Can society just be one happy family? It would be a huge thing to accomplish, not everyone works together, and no one person is perfect. I do believe what we can do though is stop the negative looks, comments, and gestures that are made to people that may not be considered what you think is “normal”.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, explore before you judge!!
-Samantha
References:
Richard, J. Dalton, Jr. (2011) Canadian border guard tells lesbian couple to fill out separate forms: Border Crossing/ Same-sex marriage still not recognized by US. Vancouver http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/Canadian_border_guard_tells_lesbian_couple_to_fill_out_separate_forms-10681.aspx
Working together to end violence against women.(2005) Peel Committee Against Women
Makarenko, Jay.(2007) Same-Sex Marriages in Canada: Judicial System and legal issues
It's sad but true what you said: that if you did not get to know her first before she told you that she was a lesbian, you would have viewed her differently. I think that a lot of people, whether they will admit it or not, feel the same way. It makes me sad that some people go their entire lives holding their identity a secret because they are afraid of what people will think. We are a society built upon judging others. I hope that in future generations, coming "out" is not as difficult as it is today.
ReplyDelete- Morgan
Great Post!
ReplyDeleteI have heard about this story and it is absolutely revolting how the US border can simply say that "Here, you are not married". I know i would find it incredibly demeaning and very insulting. I believe that the US should have same-sex marriage legal in all states by now, unfortunately, there are a few states that just fighting it every step of the way.
Belinda
Its really upsetting that when a same sex couple crosses an imaginary line they can't be a family any more.
ReplyDeleteBeing in and out of the states multiple times in a year you begin to see how different we are when it comes to topics like this.
Great post!
~Joelle
It is very upsetting to know that even law officials are discriminating against people who are legally together. But as for your personal experience this is a great lesson to learn. I feel that it good for you to have mentioned that this person was your friend and there could be the possibility that it would make you uncomfortable if you had not previously known this person. This just shows where some of the discrimination stems from, since people have preconceived ideas of what a lesbian is and it is not always something that people can accept. This shows that perhaps if people were got to know more lesbians or people from the LGBTQQI group before knowing that perhaps they would be more accepting and understanding. Just shows, don't judge the book by its title!
ReplyDeleteLeah